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I know I have done the right thing, but the thing is if he turned round and said lets move in together I know I would, will I ever ger rid of this feeling that deep down I know I would be happy with him? That is the thing with feelings, it eventually goes.

No couple, no matter who they are, start out with a bang, some of us live in this place for years.

“Crazy,” “imagining things,” “paranoid” were the words he used most frequently when he laid the blame for our problems at my feet and told me that despite my horrible flaws, he loved me and was committed to me and I should be grateful. It damn near destroyed me and sent me running to a therapist to figure out what was wrong with me. I don’t know where this desire is coming from, what it’s trying to tell me, or how to make it go away. Not Like That Dear NLT, Intimacy and monogamy frighten the hell out of you because you associate these things with powerlessness. He is needier than a regular guy, presumably because he’s so neglected.

With her help, I came to understand that I wasn’t crazy, this was abuse, and I kicked him out and saved myself. The issue I am facing now is a desire to respond to online ads from married men looking to cheat on their mean, awful partners. I work really hard to conduct my life with integrity, and I want to be as far from my ex’s brand of toxicity as possible. a part of me is drawn to the idea of being the other woman. You gave your heart to someone, and he took a sledgehammer to it, all the while rolling his eyes at your squeals of pain. And you will always be magical and important, compared to his wife, who is always around. (The irony is that the real way he’s needier is that he’s the epitome of a cheater: someone with a super-needy ego who can never be satisfied by one woman.) I hear you when you say that you would never, ever, act on these fantasies, and I believe you.

I hate to hear of them going out for a meal or going away for a weekend.

It has gone on for about a year, but in the last 8 weeks we don't see each other very often I know I am wrong for seeing him but can't help it I am totally in love with him.

He is not happy with his wife, but also cannot think how we could ever leave our partners and be together, nor can I, we both wouldn't want to cause the fuss with it all and the hurt it would cause them.

What you can expect when engaged in this type of relationships are a lot of spontaneous changes in your ability to see each other.

Expect last minute rendezvous at the drop of a hat, but .

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While that makes complete sense, what bothered me about our interaction was not that he would like to find a younger woman but that he was actually saying negative things about women who were even five years younger than he is for having made the same life choices — delaying having children — that he did. She is very active and practices yoga, plays tennis and mountain bikes. Everyone gets dark spots and lines, everyone’s metabolism slows, and everyone hears the occasional new crack in his or her body. I know plenty of “old” 30-year-olds who sit on the couch all night, and I know plenty of “young” 70-year-olds who love skiing, sailing and chasing their dogs around the park. We’ve all heard the term “racial discrimination” or “sex discrimination,” of course.

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