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So, we can see that women are much more selective than men when it comes to responding to messages.

Not exactly Nobel-quality findings here, but it's definitely interesting to see the exact levels of response.

women getting spammed with messages that are often nothing more than lewd or minimal "sup" at best or men who don't even get contacted at all. who cares which is "worse." In the middle of it all (and sharing my experience when I did OLD), I said it would be interesting if there was a dating website where men get to register for free, women pay, but only women can contact men (men can't contact women).

That would eliminate the spamming women hate so much...

Here are the two plots for men responding to messages from women (blue) and women responding to messages from men (red).

There is nothing inherent about initiating an email conversation that screams out “desperate”. Where most women screw up that first email contact is by taking one of two approaches: 1) telling him how great he is, or 2) explaining why you’re great and why he should write back to you. Is there something particularly energizing in the phrase, “I think we have a lot in common”?

Is it really all that intriguing when he explains why he’s a good partner for you, even though you haven’t met?

Here is my question: Are men ok with women sending introductory emails to them? In some ways, I see a email hello similar to a come-hither look at a bar, etc.

but in other ways it seems very aggressive and therefore a turnoff to most men. Dear Jane, Your question brings up two of the most common mistakes that women make in online dating: 1) Waiting for Men to Write to You First 2) Telling Him What You Like About His Profile First things first: Men LOVE it when women write to them. If you have an attractive photo, interesting essay, and you’re in his target demographic, why WOULDN’T he be excited to hear from you?

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